Slayers Hungry
by Lord Slayer
Summary: Luna Inverse is under lots of stress, and Xellos has decided that he wants to have some fun. Bad news for poor Dilgear! Please read and review. Story complete!
1. Chapter 1: The Mysterious Stranger

**Author's Note: **This takes place inbetween Slayers Next and Slayers Try. It really has nothing to do with any of my previous fics, but it can be counted as part of my Slayers fanon. Also, and this is VERY important: I realize that several people have favorited me and my stories without replying. Although I greatly appreciate the honor of being on someone's Favorites list, I ask you to please, PLEASE do not do this without replying at least once. Its a small pet peeve, and a bit irritating. You don't have to go back and reply to any of my other stories if you don't want to, just please reply to this one and any future ones that you read. And it would probably be greatly appreciated if you took this advice and applied to other stories that you Favorite. Thank you.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Slayers. That is all. *whack* Owww! Enough with the shovel attacks L-Sama! *whack* Ow! I mean, waah! Sniff, sniffle, cry. I do not own Slayers and it makes me so sad!

(Yes, this will be a running gag)

**Chapter One**

**The Mysterious Stranger**

CRASH!

"That does it, Christina! That's the fifth stack of plates that you've destroyed in as many days! Get out of here! You're fired!"

A blond teenage girl of no more than fifteen fled out of the kitchen's back door, crying into her hands.

Dilgear looked up from the bone that he had been chewing on and said, "You were a little harsh on her, you know."

"I'm under enough stress as it is, Spot," replied Luna. "I don't need to put up with someone who smashes half the plates in here, and mixes up orders every single day, and I won't!"

Dilgear shrugged and went back to his bone.

Outwardly, Dilgear appeared to be a wolf-type beastman (slightly different from a werewolf) with an odd blue-green fur coloring. However, he was also actually half-troll, making him nearly impossible to kill. Because of this, he had once been a highly successful bounty hunter and mercenary. Then he had accepted a contract from the legendary Rezo the Red Priest to track down and obtain the even-more famous Philosopher's Stone.

For that job, he had been assigned to work under one of Rezo's lieutenants: a chimera man named Zelgadis. But Zelgadis had proved treacherous in the end, and it had been Dilgear's job to hunt down and kill him, along with the sorceress Lina Inverse. Unfortunately, Dilgear had been unable to defeat the pair, and was left for dead. After his troll-inherited regenerative powers had healed his wounds, the beastman had spent many months wandering about through the wilderness; until at last he had come to the kingdom of Zephillia, where he had been adopted by a young waitress and swordswoman by the name of Luna Inverse.

Just a coincidence, right?

Luna herself wasn't all that bad to be around, except when her hair-trigger temper went off. Which was not an uncommon occurrence.

In fact, it had gotten to be an even-less uncommon occurrence ever since her parents- a pair of retired mercenaries, a swordsman and a sorceress- had gone to the kingdom of Ruvignald on business two weeks earlier. While gone, the job of running Mr. Inverse's general store had fallen upon the former swordsman's senior apprentice. The job of running Mrs. Inverse's restaurant, however, had fallen to the head waitress. i.e. Luna.

"Why did Mom and Dad pick now of all times to leave on business?" the curly-haired young woman grumped as she began seasoning a chicken that was waiting to be put into the oven. "The grape festival is later this month: The height of tourist season! This is the busiest time of the year, sans the festival itself!"

Dilgear ignored her. Although normally a bad idea, this was an exception as she was not talking to anyone in particular, and it was the same complaint that she had been voicing for the past fortnight anyway.

The half-troll wolf closed his eyes and snuggled up into a tight ball on his soft rug.

A minute later, Luna turned to Dilgear and said, " Spot, I'm sorry, but will you please go out and make sure that the girls aren't slacking off again? I'd do it myself, but there's supposed to be a major food critic dropping by later today, and I have to make sure that everything is just right. And besides, I have to finish the apple pie, and you know how I like to do that personally.

Dilgear opened one eye, nodded obediently, then reluctantly sat up and padded out into the dining room.

Although he had once walked about on two legs like a man, Dilgear now spent most of his time walking on all fours. This was partly because most people didn't know the difference between a werewolf and a wolf-type beastman, and so was forced to pass himself off as a dog to prevent an uproar from travelers. The second reason was that he was less intimidating this way, and girls would often come up to pet him and fuss over the "adorable, big fuzzy puppy."

The Shining Ceipheed Restaurant was packed again that day, and the eatery's three remaining waitresses scurried about frantically taking orders, delivering food, scrubbing tables, and just generally trying to make up for the lack of Luna helping them. No slacking going on here.

"Oh, my! This place is certainly quite busy!" a light, annoyingly cheery voice observed loudly to Dilgear's right.

Dilgear yelped and jumped a foot into the air.

"Oh, dear! I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you, Master Beastman," the man who seemed to have materialized out of thin air apologized in his still cheerful voice.

The man was of average height and build, with purple hair in a long bowl cut, and purple eyes closed a perpetually cheerful expression. He wore a dark gold long-sleeved tunic, and baggy black pants. On his feet were tan, full-footed sandals, and on his hands were white kid gloves. There was also a bag slung across one of his shoulders, and an embroidered black cloak draped over both of them. In his hand was a staff of dark wood with a red orb inset at the top.

"W-w-w-where did you come from?" Dilgear stammered.

"Outside," the man said without sarcasm.

"No, I mean how did you just appear there like that?"

"Oh? Well, in that case," the main said and wagged a finger. "That is a secret."

Despite the man's cheerful and pleasant exterior, there still remained an odd something about the stranger that made Dilgear uneasy.

"Um, I've got to go and do something," the beastman said, slowly backing up. "So, uh, yeah. See ya later."

With that, he turned tail and dashed back through the kitchen door.

The mysterious stranger merely chuckled to himself, then disappeared into thin air.


	2. Chapter 2: Nightmare at 500 Feet

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the lateness. My excuse for Luna not noticing Xellos earlier is because she is so preoccupied and stressed out that she can't detect any nearby mazoku that aren't a direct threat unless she senses for them specifically. The title is inspired from a certain Twilight Zone episode, since I find that Xellos IS rather gremlin-like. Please enjoy this latest batch of Slayers silliness! ^_^

**Chapter 2: Nightmare at 500 Feet (Above Sea Level)**

"Luna! Luna! Luna! There's a weird guy out in the dining room!" Dilgear shouted as he burst back into the kitchen.

"There are always weird guys out there, Spot," Luna responded irritably as she chopped vegetables rapidly.

"Yeah, I know. But this guy…,"

"Not now, Spot. Wait until after we close to tell me."

Having completed filling a bowl with chopped vegetables, Luna Inverse dashed to the big iron soup cauldron hanging over the kitchen's ten foot-wide fireplace and dumped the bowl's contents into the broth. Once finished, she skillfully threw the bowl back onto the counter, then went over to another counter to begin mixing pie ingredients together.

"Bah, she's right," Dilgear shrugged as he padded back to his rug, stopping to receive an ear scratching from a waitress coming in to get an order. "That guy's just some loony magician who gets his kicks out of freaking people out."

The beastman curled himself up into a ball on his rug, closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep.

Sometime later, Dilgear was awoken by the smell of wine: Zephillian grape wine. The pleasant but strong scent filled the wolfman's nostrils, making them itch and finally causing him to sneeze several times. Curious, he looked up and, to his horror, Dilgear found Luna glaring down at him and looking very unhappy.

"W-w-what is it, Luna?" he stammered.

"Enjoy your drink, Spot?" Luna growled, pointing at something at the oversized wolf's feet.

"Huh? What are you talking- WAAAAAUGH!!"

Lying at Dilgear's feet was an empty wine bottle, marked with the label of one of the local vineyards, and the uncorked neck of the bottle was lying right in front of where the beastman's nose had been a moment before.

"L-L-L-Luna, I swear on Ceipheed's left wing that that isn't mine! I have no idea how that got there! Please, don't hurt me!"

The Knight of Ceipheed growled menacingly and eyed the wolf with a glare that could peel paint. At last, the elder Inverse sister sighed and let her rage out with a ten-count.

"Fine, I won't do anything about it THIS time," she relented, "I've got enough on my plate right now as it is. Just put that with the rest of the empty bottles. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a pie to finish."

As Luna stalked off, Dilgear stood up on his hind legs to pick up the bottle, and took it to the storage room; where, amongst other things, empty wine bottles were kept to be later sold back to their respective vineyards.

Upon entering the storeroom though, Dilgear froze.

Directly above the pile of empty bottles, a large cloth banner had been nailed to the wall.

The beastman took several steps further into the room, added his bottle to the pile in compliance with Luna's command, then just stared at the banner; which read:

_Hope that you got a kick out of the freaking out. I know that I did._

_See you soon,_

_The Loony Magician_

As Dilgear continued to stare, he suddenly heard a giggle coming from behind him in a horrifyingly familiar, annoyingly cheerful voice. With hackles raised and fear on his face, the troll/wolf hybrid slowly turned around. To his horror, the strange, purple-haired man was standing right in the middle of the doorway, smiling pleasantly.

In a panic, Dilgear ran straight for the door, shouldered the stranger out of the way, and shouted, "LUNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Half a moment later, Luna appeared with a frying pan now in her hands.

Pointing behind himself without looking, Dilgear yelped, "Luna! Luna! That strange guy's back! That's him right there behind me, and he keeps following me! He left that bottle there, and he left a vaguely threatening sign on the wall!"

Without a word, Luna looked past Dilgear, then looked back at him and raised an eyebrow skeptically.

Confused, Dilgear turned around and felt his jaw drop and his eyes bug out. The man was gone, as was the banner.

"B-b-b-b-b-b-but…," he stammered.

Luna abruptly smacked Dilgear over the head with her frying pan and stalked off.

The wolf fell to his knees and whined loudly as he held his head.

"Oh, dear. She does have a temper, doesn't she? Just like her little sister."

Dilgear leapt to his feet and spun around.

"You!" he yelled, "Why did you do that!?"

"That's a secret!"

"You said that last time!"

"Just kidding," the purple-haired stranger laughed. "The reason why I'm doing this isn't really a secret. I just like saying that."

"Then why are you doing this to me!?"

"Meh," the man shrugged, "I was bored and needed something to do."

"WHAT!?!?"

"I said-,"

"I heard what you said! I'm a wolf! I have very excellent hearing! But what are you!?"

"Me? Why I am the one who calls himself the Mysterious Priest!"

"Priest!?" Dilgear snorted, "Ha! Don't play games with me, you! I know that that you can't be human!"

"I never said that I was," the youthful cleric said calmly and politely, in stark contrast to the freaking out of Dilgear.

"What are you then!?"

"Well," said the stranger, opening one eye slyly and waving his index finger tauntingly in front of his face, "That is a secret."

"Why you-!" Dilgear growled, his irritation now outweighing his fear.

"Oooh, scary! Please don't eat me, Mr. Wolfman!" the priest laughed, his now-mocking smile as wide as ever.

"That's it!" the beastman yelled, and leapt for the stranger's neck with his jaws gaping wide.

As fast as lighting, and without any effort at all, the young man smacked his attacker over the head in mid-jump with his staff, and everything turned black for Dilgear.

**To Be Continued…**


	3. Chapter 3: The Final Catastrophe

**Author's Note: **This is going to be my last Slayers fic for a little while, as I've got half a dozen other things that I'm working on at the moment. I do have another story on another topic that I'll still be working on, and a one-shot that I've got written down for another, but other than that I'm going to take a break. I will continue to make time to read and review other people's pieces. Thank you for all of your great comments and reviews, and I hope that you all enjoyed this story immensely.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Slayers. This does not make me sad *L-Sama raises shovel threateningly* but I am sad that this is my last Slayers fic for a while *sobs*

**Chapter 3: **

**The Last Catastrophe**

When Dilgear at last awoke, he had a splitting headache, as well as a burning desire for revenge.

As he stalked back towards the kitchen- fuming all the way- his ears perked up at the sound of yelling. It only took a moment to identify the voice as that of Luna.

"Enough with the lame excuses!" Luna was yelling at the restaurant's cowering staff of cooks as Dilgear cautiously returned to the kitchen. "I'm under so much stress right now that I should have diamonds shooting out of my butt! And I definitely don't have time for stupid practical jokes! If someone fesses up, I won't kill you all of the way, and I promise that I'll keep the permanent injuries to a minimum! If no one does fess, though, then you'll all suffer!"

"Uh, what's going on?" Dilgear asked cautiously.

"I went outside to check on something," Luna replied, rounding onto her pet and friend, "And while I was gone, one of these jokers decides that it would be funny to put the soup cauldron on the roof!"

"H-how!?" the wolfman stammered.

"I don't know! All I know is that along with moving the soup, they also left THAT on the wall!"

Dilgear followed Luna's finger until he saw a large banner hung over the fireplace, not unlike the one that had appeared in the storage room earlier. The beastman's eyes bugged out once more upon reading the message:

"Mr. X waz here! Neh-neh!"

"I-is that guy a gremlin or something?" Dilgear murmured to himself.

"Do you have something to contribute to this, Spot!?" Luna demanded, her face now bright red and her temples looking as if they were about to explode.

"Err, well…," the wolf stammered, "Its just that…um, well…I just kind of think that this might be the work of that purple haired guy that I was talking about earlier. You know, the one who keeps…"

Luna screamed like a raging bear, grabbed a long-handled wooden bread board, and began to swing the impromptu-pole arm about wildly. Between each blow, she shouted, "I…DON'T…WANT…TO…HEAR…ANY…MORE…ABOUT…YOUR…STUPID…IMAGINARY…PURPLE HAIRED…GUY!!!!!"

When the Knight of Ceipheed's rampage was complete, everyone was lying on the ground and covered in brightly colored bruises. Luna herself stood alone huffing and puffing violently. Finally, she caught her breath enough to say, "I'm going to try to get the soup down…off the roof. The rest of you…get back to work!"

With that she tossed her improvised weapon away and stormed off.

"Hey! Where did the chicken go!?" one of the cooks yelled, his voice filled with panic.

Several minutes had passed since Luna's hurricane-like beating, and the victims of the tirade had only just recovered enough to resume work. However, it seemed that this renewed ability to function would not last much longer.

"What do you mean where did it go!?" the rest of the cooks cried out in horror. "Wasn't it in the oven!?"

"It was there three minutes ago when I check on it!" the frightened young man explained. "I decided that it could use another couple of minutes, so I put it back. But when I checked on it again just now, it was gone!"

It was at that time that a frightened Dilgear happened to look out the window set into the door to the dining room. Upon doing so he gave a shout; for sitting at a booth within the dining room was the strange purple haired man, with an entire roast chicken sitting in front of him.

"There it is! There HE is!" Dilgear cried to the now-staring kitchen staff. "The purple haired guy has it! He's right out there! In the dining room! He…!"

As Dilgear yelled, the man seemed to turn in his direction, then disappeared into thin air- along with the chicken.

"Huh?" What the-?" the beastman wondered aloud, planting his face into the window. "Where did he-?"

A sudden and mysterious crash of falling pots and pans from the overhead storage pegs caused the assembled cooks to duck and cover and generally avert their eyes from Dilgear as they tried to avoid getting hit. The wolf beastman himself, however, was too busy trying to find his target in the midst of the crowded dining area.

"Surprise!" the mysterious man's voice called out suddenly in a sing-song manner from behind. Then a large, warm, squishy, delicious-smelling mass was rammed forcefully onto Dilgear's head.

"Gah! What on earth!? Who turned out the lights!?" the unfortunate wolf cried out in terror.

"SPOT!?" the horror-struck employees shrieked upon suddenly seeing the chicken stuck on the over-sized dog's head. "What happened!? Hurry, get that off! Before Luna-!"

Just then the restaurant's back-entrance opened- like the gaping maw of some horrible demon-beast that could only exist in the darkest of nightmares. At that moment, probably about everyone in that kitchen would have much preferred it if it HAD been a demon-beast.

"Okay," Luna announced in a much-calmer voice tone than before, as she tugged the huge iron pot back inside. "I got the soup down without spilling too much, and it shouldn't be too cold so- What…is…this!?"

The cooks slowly backed away from Dilgear, just as he at last pulled the chicken off of his head.

"Spoooooooooooot!" Luna rumbled like a volcano that was just about to erupt.

"I-I-I," Dilgear pleaded, holding the chicken out like a peace offering. "This isn't what you think Luna! I swear it!"

"You are one dead dog, Spot!" Luna hissed, her eyes flaming with intense anger.

Suddenly, the door burst open and a strange-looking man with a thick gray mustache, gray suit and thick, dizzy-looking glasses barged in.

"Who are-," Luna demanded.

"I am ze famous food critic," the man interrupted in an especially thick accent. "I have come to sample your- Aw! I zee zat you have already prepared somezing for me. Gewt! Gewt!"

Without warning, the odd stranger nabbed the chicken from Dilgear's paws and swallowed it whole. After a moment of noisy chewing, he then waddled over to the soup cauldron, lifted the entire pot up with incredible strength, then guzzled almost all of the broth down in a single swallow.

Everyone stared incredulously; especially Luna, who had once believed that only her sister was capable of such an amazing feat.

"Ach, zat sure hits za spot," the supposed food critic sighed, wiping his mouth and 'stache with his sleeve. Then he flicked his awe-struck audience a thumbs-up and said, "Very gewt. Five stars. Zo I zink zat you should do zomezing about zat man tied-up in hiz undervear in ze bathroom. Some might find it a bit dizturbing. Auf Wiedersehen!"

Then with a wave of his hand, the man waddled out through back entrance, slammed the door, and disappeared.

The members of the Shining Ceipheed continued to stare several minutes after the man had disappeared. At last Luna recovered her wits and ordered someone to investigate the bathroom.

What was discovered, however, was the REAL food critic. And a very angry critic at that.

"Well its about time someone found me!" the man raged about in his skivvies. "Do you put some kind of anti-laxative in the food so that customers don't have to use the bathroom, or something!?"

"I'm very sorry, sir," Luna bowed apologetically once again.

"You should be sorry!" the critic growled, "I have no idea how you people could be so blind as to not see a big thug like that and his pet werewolf prancing through a restaurant with an unconscious old man slung over his shoulder!"

"Wait? Werewolf?" asked Luna, glaring daggers at Dilgear from the corner of her eye.

The wolfman cringed quite visibly.

"Yes, or wolf beastman, or whatever," the old critic said, "I never bother keeping track of how to tell the difference between freaks like that anyway."

At this, Dilgear growled, though only briefly.

"One moment, please," Luna bowed, an all too pleasant expression on her face. She then turned and walked to the oven in which her delicious, award-winning apple pie. The young waitress opened the oven door, peeked in, inhaled the mouth-watering aroma deeply, then shut the door again. Turning to one of the cooks, she calmly said, "About another minute, Amy."

Then she pounced.

Dilgear suddenly found himself thrown against the dining room door with a roaring Luna in his face.

"WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA YOU FLEA-BITTEN MONGREL!?!?" the part-time waitress demanded with the fury of a hundred Dragon Slaves.

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I…" Dilgear stammered for almost a minute, completely at a loss for words. Though he had no idea what the old man was talking about, he knew that it didn't much matter when Luna was this upset. The wolfman's life flashed before his eyes. Then…

"Hey, Luna" the young cook named Amy called as she peered into the oven. "The pie's just disappeared now!"

"MY-PIE!!?!?" Luna howled, now fixing her blazing eyes upon the unfortunate beastman.

It was then that Dilgear's luck began to change.

As the wolfman withered away under his master's murderous glare, Dilgear desperately looked back out the window of the dining room door, hoping to at least glimpse the strange man who had brought this upon him so that he could curse the mysterious stranger with his dying breath. To his rather morbid satisfaction, the wolf did indeed see the hated purple-haired priest: Sitting at his previous spot and enjoying Luna's pie.

By some twist of fate, or perhaps even divine intervention, Luna noticed in her rage that Dilgear's eyes weren't fixed upon her like everyone else who fell afoul of the Knight of Ceipheed. She followed her pet's gaze out the door's window until she too at last saw the purple haired man.

The swordswoman's mouth fell open in disbelief. Then she snapped out of it, dropped Dilgear, and charged out of the kitchen.

Nearly everyone in the restaurant had been staring at the kitchen door in curiosity- and in some cases fear- due to the great commotion coming from within. But as Luna blasted out of the kitchen in such a rage that she made the entire building shake with each step, everyone retreated to the far walls so as to give the waitress as much space as possible. All except for one man.

"Oh, dear," the purple haired priest said without much concern. "It seems that my fun has come to an end."

"You're the one who's been causing all of the trouble around here today, aren't you!?" roared the red-haired waitress.

"I was heavily involved, yes," the stranger answered, his expression nonchalant.

The Knight of Ceipheed stared hard at the man while rubbing her chin in deep thought.

"We've met before. It wasn't a question.

The priest cocked his head and said, "That's not an impossibility."

"Don't mess with me, you!" yelled Luna as she grabbed the man by the shirt and lifted him up like a sack of groceries. "Now who are you!?"

"That's a secret," the man grinned, then squawked as his captor shook him like a rag doll.

"I said don't mess-," the waitress began, but then stopped as her eyes lit up with recognition. "Xellos! That's your name! I remember you! What are you doing here, Xellos!?"

"Oh, I was just bored waiting between assignments, so I just though that I'd pop by and see how you were doing!" Xellos smiled. He then mentally added another tally mark to the imaginary score sheet that he had long ago set up for himself and the other generals and priests. He HAD warned Sherra that memory-erasure spells would do no more than inflict a minor mental block on someone like the Knight of Ceipheed.

"And drive me CRAZY!" Luna bellowed.

"That too."

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't tear your head off!"

"Umm, I don't that that's physically possible…"

"I'm the Knight of Ceipheed!" Luna hissed, quiet-yet-threatening. "I possess part of the dragon god's soul within my being. I don't that that there's a whole lot that I can't do!"

Then returning to yelling, she continued, "But that's beside the point! Tell me now why I shouldn't break you in half!"

Xellos thought for a moment as Dilgear- now returned to all-fours- padded up behind Luna with an eager grin on his face.

"Oh, I know! I have some news from about your little sister!"

Luna blinked in surprise.

"Lina?" she asked, momentarily disarmed. Then her face contorted back into barely contained rage and demanded, "What have you done to my baby sister, you creep!?"

"Oh, no! No! Nothing like that!" Xellos assured, "Its just that Ms. Lina- who, by the way, is currently traveling with a swordsman named Gourry, a chimera man named Zelgadis, and Princess Amelia of Seyruun-,"

Dilgear's ears perked up upon hearing the first three names.

"Recently attracted the attentions Lord Hellmaster, and the Demon Dragon King."

Luna's grip tightened, but not out of anger.

"Have no fear though, Ms. Luna!' Xellos continued cheerily. "Due to a combination of underestimation and overconfidence on the Mazoku Lords' part, dumb luck, and Lina's immense skill, your sister and her friends are completely fine; while Gaav and Phibrizo are- shall we say- no longer among the living."

At this, many of the restaurant's customers began to whisper excitedly amongst themselves.

"Hellmaster Phibrizo AND Chaos Dragon Gaav are dead!?"

"Killed by Lina Inverse!?"

"Lina Inverse!? The Dragon Spooker!? She's the Ceipheed Knight's SISTER!?"

Luna ignored them. Instead she set the trickster priest back upon his feet and sighed. "I have been rather curious about who had done it ever since their symbols on my Ars Goetia shattered. Thank you for this information Xellos. Now get out of here, before I change my mind."

"Certainly, Ms. Luna," Xellos said with a slight- almost mocking- bow. "Oh, and before I forget: There's been a girl named Filia asking around for you. She's dressed like a priestess, and smells very distinctly of golden dragon. Just though that you might like to know."

Luna nodded curtly.

"All righty then. See you around, Luna!" Xellos waved. With that, he teleported one final time and was gone.

"Not too soon, I hope," Luna said with a low growl.

'_Wow, Lina's that strong?' _she thought to herself with a mix of surprise and pride,_ 'I'd never of guessed. Heh. That's my sis.'_

Remembering the customers, Luna brushed the wrinkles out of her apron, looked up with a smile, and, in a deceptively pleasant voice, said, "I'm terribly sorry everyone, but due to circumstances that we cannot control, we will not be able to adequately serve you for the rest of today. As such, we will be closed for the remainder of the day. Please come back tomorrow, and I guarantee that we will be MUCH more efficient then. Thank you for your cooperation."

There was a fair amount of grumbling, but eventually the crowd began to recede.

The young woman leaned back against the table that Xellos had just been sitting at and gave a long, loud, mentally-exhausted sigh.

"What about that critic guy back in the kitchen?" Dilgear asked.

Luna groaned and said, "I'm sending him back home. If he's going to complain like some old fart about stuff that we can't even control, and without a word of gratitude for saving him, then I don't think we even want to have anything more to do with him."

"I guess so," the beastman replied.

He paused for a moment, then said, "I had no idea that your younger sister was THE Lina Inverse: That girl who gave me so much trouble."

Luna gave her friend an odd look, then replied, "Inverse isn't exactly a common family name, Spot; and Lina's not an average first name either. How many Lina Inverse's do you think there are?"

"Oh, yeah."

There was an embarrassed silence, then the wolf said, "So the Bandit Killer's your sister, huh? I'm so sorry."

"Eh, she's not so bad," Luna shrugged. "She's a good kid, really. Mom and Dad just taught her too well about money. And she's mouthy, and bad tempered and…,"

"Sister stuff?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, I had a couple of sisters. They drove me crazy all the time, and drove Mom up the wall."

Luna grinned.

Another several minutes of silence passed. Then Luna inspected her Xellos-marred pie, and sighed in despair. She then stood back up and began to return to the kitchen.

"So, um, if no one else is going to eat that pie," Dilgear asked, "Can I have it?"

SPLAT!

**The End**


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